Two of our three kids are competitive swimmers. Most days this summer they do two workouts a day, the first beginning at 5:00 am with another in the afternoon. It’s a commitment. Much of their time outside of swimming seems to be spent sleeping. We hear them get up at 4:30 and the rest of the time they look groggy. A lot like hamsters. Our recent vacation was to be a nice break for everyone and a good opportunity for some family time in the ocean. Then we found out they’d be missing a swim meet. It sounded like a non-issue to me but to everyone else, most especially their coach, it was a major issue. They’d have to find another meet in which to compete.
I was never a serious competitive swimmer. The few meets I did swim in seemed to be several hours of boredom punctuated by 45 seconds of terror. And to do it all year, much of the time in the cold, dark early hours? Not for me, thanks. I just pulled on a football helmet and ran into people. But I did it in daylight hours, by God. My wife swam as a child, in high school and then at USC. She gets it. I, quite clearly, don’t.
We were headed to Kauai, our family’s favorite vacation spot. Wouldn’t you know, the island swim club just happened to have a meet on the island during our stay. Yippee. The kids need to attend a couple workouts in addition to the meet. Naturally.
The complaining was at a feverish pitch, primarily mine. Here are just a few bites from my bitching buffet:
- Why does this coach get to insist they swim in a meet on our vacation? I mean, who is the customer here? Last I checked, we pay the them, not the other way around.
- How are we villains for going on a family vacation?
- What kind of cult are we involved in?
- Just so I have this straight, we’re going to be in perfect 84 degree weather, completely surrounded by the 82 degree ocean, with great waves no less, and we’re going to a swim meet? A SWIM meet?
Mental health professionals refer to this behavior as “being a jackass”. I should have encouraged the kids to swim in the meet, if for no other reason than to be a good partner in parenting. Instead, I left my wife to swim upstream on the issue while I went along kicking and screaming. As to my wife, people often refer to their spouse as their “better half”. Most of the time it’s tongue in cheek while they wait expectantly for someone in the conversation to correct them. “Oh come on Harry, Sally got pretty lucky too. We all know that!” In my case it’s 112% true. My wife was teaching the kids the importance of commitment and to enjoy the opportunity to meet new people.
The most painful admission is I enjoyed the meet tremendously. It only lasted a few hours and I had the opportunity to meet some very good souls. We’re water people and have spoken often about moving to Kauai. I suppose there are a few trade offs we just aren’t ready to make yet. It was fun to meet people who did make that move as well as people who have been there all their lives. Carrie and I spent quite a while speaking with a woman who moved with her family from Boulder, Colorado four years ago. I told her I went to school in Boulder and remember the bohemian town in that beautiful setting. “Well,” she said with a laugh, “it’s still a beautiful setting but the hippies moved out. It’s now the yoga pants capital of the world.” Fair enough.
Life turns out pretty nicely if I open myself up to new situations, find the positives and let myself enjoy the experiences. Maybe I can pass that idea on to the kids…
Loved this post, perhaps because I can relate to it so well. I was a competitive swimmer right through college (not quite at the level it seems your wife was!), and thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. Sure, there were times when I had no interest in going to practice, but when it was all over you don’t remember those times. But I also understand that swim meets may not be too exciting for a spectator such as yourself. And I also agree with you that it’s kind of strange that the coach wanted your kids to practice and compete while on vacation; that seems a bit over the top. As to a possible move to Hawaii – my middle son moved to the Big Island several years ago and absolutely loves it. We love going to visit, but I’m not sure I could live there, just a bit too removed from the rest of the world for me. On the other hand, Boulder is one of my favorite cities in the U.S. If it didn’t get so cold during the winter, that’s the kind of place I could move to. By the way, did you catch the WSJ story last week about how what sport a person competes in may influence what type of career they pursue? If not, let me know and I will forward it on to you.
Jim – Thanks so much for reading! I didn’t see the WSJ article but did read your post on it. If you have time, please do forward, i’d like to give it a read. As to Boulder, you might be surprised with the weather. While it does get cold periodically, it never seems to stay that way for long. Every year I was in school we had a a few days in February when it would get into the 70s. On the other hand, snow in September isn’t out of the question. I’m glad your son is loving Hawaii. I could see one of ours doing the same thing. Thanks again Jim.